How Life Change Happens
How to relieve stress.
Balance and Good Health in Work & Life.
Do you really want to "Retire" from life?
Breaking Through Emotional Barriers
Have you ever missed a goal at your son's soccer match, the one he kicked in?
There is no instant replay.
If you were thinking about something else because you could not put your attention on the game long enough, you missed the moment.
Have you ever read a page in a book, and then realized you hadn't really taken in any meaning on that page, even though you "went over it" with your eyes? Have you ever made love, then found yourself thinking of your "To Do List" for that day, and then found the lovemaking was less than spectacular?
Thinking of anything but what you’re doing right now is called not being present. Which means you're absent. Which means you're not into what you are doing - so you lose two ways: You're not living fully now, and while thinking of a fantasy that is not true.
Points of joy in life don't always jump in your lap. If we aren't conscious and aware - we do not even know we've missed them. The present moment is missed because we are lost in MENTAL NOISE.
Lost in our heads.
We must learn to be out of our heads and into our hearts.
If you are not fully present the world around you, if you dwell in the past, or the future, (I love the future myself - it can be so pretty!) you miss the goal kick, the flash, the hidden smile - you miss life. It doesn't have to be this way. Begin to understand the poison that mental time can be to your happiness. Living in the past or the future too much means there is less living in the present and that can be hazardous to your happiness health.
How do we make this state of “no-mind” last longer than a few wonderful moments? How to coax this silky, fascinating wild animal of the present moment into our lives?
ALLOWING. . . is the KEY
My friend Alex stood in our front yard one day at the end of a visit. He was leaving town to go back to his life, a life he was not satisfied with. Raising his hands like Jesus on the grass, he stated rather profoundly that he would stop struggling. He was through trying to manage all the outside forces he had depended on for happiness thus far. He would allow whatever came to come.
He drove off and promptly blew his car's engine in a nearby town. He had to call us for a ride. He stayed with us in our house for a while until he saved money. Part of him was childlike and that helped. He played online combat flying - and he hooked me on it. But what he really hooked me on was his enthusiasm and passion for a happier life.
His open heartedness in our house led me to widen my perspective that life could be fun. This led to a divorce from my wife I didn't know I needed. Alex was the heart catalyst to do it.
Alex then met a doctor, fell in love and now lives in a big house on the hill. He'd found a woman who loved him for what he was, a charismatic dreamer of prescient dreams, a writer, a curmudgeon, a music man and a sensitive charmer who loved life and knew how to be happy. He gave something valuable to her. He passed that art of happiness on to her and counterbalanced her more linear, doctor brain.
Alex found something he had not expected when he "let go" of control. He allowed himself to let go.
Can we plan something like this with our conscious minds? Perhaps during speed dating?
I think not.
We are like tuning forks. We vibrate a song. It can be happy - or sad and angry - whatever it is, it's our song.
An abundance of happiness is already inside of us.
You can feel it in the life beneath your waking life. It resides quietly in the breaths between sentences, in the pauses we take from thinking, in the way a lizard sits immobile on a branch, in the breathing spaces of the Now where mental stress cannot accumulate. In these present moments, Being reaches up through the daily dross, labels, judgments and the illusions we create, and if we are aware, tickles and caresses us with a shudder, an epiphany of love, a moment of pure joy -
All without effort. One only must allow.